It's been rather depressing and lonely lately. Since the parents left overseas for a holiday, I find myself doing noting much all day except zombie around the house and moan and groan about how pathetic my life really is.
I really feel that I'm really wasting my time here. I wake up and I look around me, and think to myself.."I hate the cupboard.", "I hate that clock.", "I hate this bed.", "I hate the annoying parquet floor that keeps coming out.", or "I hate this place."
I'm not being a diva or ungrateful for all the things that I have or were given to me. I do appreciate life and people who has always been there for me through thick and thin. But each day when I wake up, I get depressed and feeling nostalgic for the fact that I'm still here. I'm living a life which I don't want to live.
Spoken to a few people whom I think have had a lot of life experiences and I concluded that to actually be happy and be a better person, you have to be selfish in a certain extend in your life. If you're not selfish, you're only allowing other people to take advantage of you and with you out there pleasing everyone else, you're only going to forget about yourself and your needs, and then live a bitter, lonely and hateful life in the end.
I don't want that life.
If I really want to change it, I have to stop dreaming it, and actually start living it. And it all starts by making decisions that will lead me to that life.
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Saturday, March 6, 2010
I don't want that life
It's been rather depressing and lonely lately. Since the parents left overseas for a holiday, I find myself doing noting much all day except zombie around the house and moan and groan about how pathetic my life really is.
I really feel that I'm really wasting my time here. I wake up and I look around me, and think to myself.."I hate the cupboard.", "I hate that clock.", "I hate this bed.", "I hate the annoying parquet floor that keeps coming out.", or "I hate this place."
I'm not being a diva or ungrateful for all the things that I have or were given to me. I do appreciate life and people who has always been there for me through thick and thin. But each day when I wake up, I get depressed and feeling nostalgic for the fact that I'm still here. I'm living a life which I don't want to live.
Spoken to a few people whom I think have had a lot of life experiences and I concluded that to actually be happy and be a better person, you have to be selfish in a certain extend in your life. If you're not selfish, you're only allowing other people to take advantage of you and with you out there pleasing everyone else, you're only going to forget about yourself and your needs, and then live a bitter, lonely and hateful life in the end.
I don't want that life.
If I really want to change it, I have to stop dreaming it, and actually start living it. And it all starts by making decisions that will lead me to that life.
I really feel that I'm really wasting my time here. I wake up and I look around me, and think to myself.."I hate the cupboard.", "I hate that clock.", "I hate this bed.", "I hate the annoying parquet floor that keeps coming out.", or "I hate this place."
I'm not being a diva or ungrateful for all the things that I have or were given to me. I do appreciate life and people who has always been there for me through thick and thin. But each day when I wake up, I get depressed and feeling nostalgic for the fact that I'm still here. I'm living a life which I don't want to live.
Spoken to a few people whom I think have had a lot of life experiences and I concluded that to actually be happy and be a better person, you have to be selfish in a certain extend in your life. If you're not selfish, you're only allowing other people to take advantage of you and with you out there pleasing everyone else, you're only going to forget about yourself and your needs, and then live a bitter, lonely and hateful life in the end.
I don't want that life.
If I really want to change it, I have to stop dreaming it, and actually start living it. And it all starts by making decisions that will lead me to that life.
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